Don Cruse

Imagine a Fifth Circuit courtroom…

Judge: What do you do about <em>Morgan</em>?

Phipps: I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know <em>Morgan</em>, Your Honor.

Judge: You don’t know <em>Morgan</em>?

Phipps: Nope.

Judge: You haven’t read it?

Phipps: I try not to read that many cases, your Honor. <em>Ricks</em> is the only one I read. Oh, <em>Ledbetter</em>, I read <em>Ledbetter</em>, and I read that one that they brought up last night. I don’t know if that’s not <em>Ledbetter</em>, I can’t remember the name of it. <em>Ricks</em> is the one that I go by; it’s my North star. Either it applies or it doesn’t apply. I don’t think it applies.

Judge: I must say, <em>Morgan</em> is a case that is directly relevant to this case. And for you representing the Plaintiff to get up here—it’s a Supreme Court case—and say you haven’t read it. Where did they teach you that?

Phipps: They didn’t teach me much, Your Honor.

What happens after such an exchange? You get a per curiam opinion like this one (see page 14) and an order requiring you to give a copy of it to your client.

Thanks to Above the Law, which in turn credited this post on Legal Profession Blog.